she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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