Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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