this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
