I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
