I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
