Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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