so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
