So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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