On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
