Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
