I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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