I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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