So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
