We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize