Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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