Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
