Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
