I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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