if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
