Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
