Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
