can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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