Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
