Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
