he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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