Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Panties = found
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