im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize