did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
