I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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