rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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