I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
