i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
