I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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