There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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