sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
