i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
