I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
did you just send me my own nude
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
