i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Another day, another engagement, another cat
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
