bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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