I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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