It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
