I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
