he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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