You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I need water and some morals
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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