Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
