You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
