I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
