she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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