Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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