So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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