We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
