I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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