Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
