All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
