her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
