So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize