Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize