So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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