just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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