marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
