So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize